


Father, Father

by Xray_and_Vav_to_the_rescue (RedLikeRayses)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Slurs, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Swearing, does anyone even read these?, first fic on here woot woot, im also really bad at titles, this is really bad i', tw for child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:38:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2063190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLikeRayses/pseuds/Xray_and_Vav_to_the_rescue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray has grown up fearing his father his whole life. A traumatic childhood, 2 years, and one boyfriend later, dear old dad decides to pay a little visit. <br/>Despite what Joel says, Ray doesn't believe for a second that his father simply wants to make up with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Father, Father

**Author's Note:**

> It has come to my attention that this extremely similar to apeskyhedgehog's Hurting Is Only The First Part,and I just wanted to clarify that this story was in no way inspired or copied from that story.I didn't even know about that story until someone pointed it out to me.They are both incredibly alike,but it is just a huge coincidence.I sincerely apologize to this user and anyone who thought it was.That being said,you guys should absolutely check out Hurting Is Only The First Part because it is an amazing story.
> 
> Previously titled 'Dad,What Did I Do To Deserve This?'

Ever since he could remember, Ray has always been at least a little afraid of his dad. He still loved him, of course he loved him, but there was always something that made him fear his father. Maybe it was the way that he was always quick to raise his voice. Maybe it was his intolerance for mistakes, especially those made by Ray. Maybe it was the empty beer bottles that were always littered across the house. Maybe it was all of the above. Regardless of what it was, fear has always been a part of their father-son relationship.

 

It became worse as the years passed. Ray saw the true meaning of intolerant up close and personal, and it scared him. It scared him how his dad would always start fights with anyone who  _ dared  _ to defend gay rights, no matter where they were. It scared him how he would threaten and verbally abuse trans people so vividly. It scared him how he would talk of any LGBT+ minorities-the language and words he used sent shivers down Ray’s spine.

 

But the fear didn’t stop at his violent intolerance. It only increased as Ray began to realize that his father…. _ hated _ him. He never really knew why, but it was painfully obvious. It was shown in his eyes, how, when he looked at his son, there was nothing but disappointment .It was shown in his words, how he mercilessly berated his son for the tiniest things-a bad grade, forgotten chores, a missed phone call, whatever. And,while it was rare,it was shown through his actions; how,on nights of extreme drunkenness, when he was way past the point of dangerous drinking, he would throw Ray against the wall, the floor, the counter, and pound him and punch him and hurt him. He would curtly apologize in the morning, the bruises always faded, and no one ever found out. 

 

But Ray knew. Those memories would always be with him, haunting him. They would follow him to his grave.

 

And the terror only became heightened as he began to express interest in applying for a job at a company called Roosterteeth. By that point, the beatings had stopped, but the verbal abuse hadn't. In fact, Ray’s new job interest seemed to kick it into high gear, and he would be forced to listen to his dad tell him how  _ ‘it’s a stupid company, all it is is just fat, lazy fucks like you, laying around and playing video games all day' _ , and how  _ ‘you should probably consider getting a  _ real _ job, you good-for-nothing piece of shit’ _ , and how  _ ‘even if you applied, they'd never accept your useless ass-who in their right mind would?’ _ . His arguments of how Roosterteeth was a very successful and thriving company, and how they were so much more than just a bunch of people playing video games, and how they had helped countless people-including himself-fell on deaf ears. Deaf, uncaring ears.

 

And so Ray suffered in silence. For years, endless, merciless insults were thrown his way daily. The only thing that kept him sane was doing community stuff for Roosterteeth. 

 

And after 3 whole years of it, they came forward and offered him a job, which he took without hesitation.

 

He dreaded telling his father, but he knew that there was no way to avoid it. So he mustered up his will, gathered his nerves together, looked his dad straight in the eye, and told him that he had been hired at Roosterteeth, and would be moving to Texas shortly.

 

He was expecting a beating, some beer bottle throwing, some yelling at the  _ very least _ . He wasn’t expecting...this.

 

He wasn’t expecting his father’s boisterous laughter to boom throughout the room.  _ They...*wheeze*....they actually HIRED your lazy ass?! Man, how STUPID are they? Those poor fuckers, they don’t know a thing about you, do they? Well, at least they’re finaly gonna take you off my hands. All sales final! Don’t even think of trying to return him!  _

 

This joyous berating was thrown at Ray for a solid half hour before his father eventually laughed himself to sleep on the couch. Tears pricked at the corners of Ray’s eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He refused to show any sign that his father’s words had affected him, cut through his heart like a knife, constricted his chest and made it hard to breathe.

 

The day before his flight to Austin was when they had one of the biggest fights in their history. He had left his packed bags at a friend’s house as a pre-caution. And it was a good thing he did, because his dad had been drinking. Heavily.  _ Really _ heavily. Ray was mildly surprised that his father hadn’t dropped dead yet.

 

Instead, he targeted Ray. He hadn’t laid a hand on him, thank God, but he certainly found unique ways to express his utter disappointment in his son _. Your dumb ass is actually going to work as a video-game player. Are you fucking kidding me right now? This isn’t how i raised you! I'm pretty sure I didn’t raise a fucking  _ **_disappointment_ ** _. I give it two-no,  _ one _ month before they fire your useless ass and you come crawling back to me. But then, it won’t really matter, because as far as I'm concerned,  _ **_you’re not my son anymore_ ** .

 

But this time, Ray decided that was 100% done with dealing with this bullshit, and he fought back. It eventually turned into a long yelling match, ending when his father threw a bottle at his head. Ray had just barely managed to dodge it, and, knowing that his father was about to get physical, fled the house. He stayed the night at the previously mentioned friend’s house, and left for Austin in the morning. 

Once he arrived,his father’s words were pushed into the darkest recesses of his mind. He was too busy adjusting to his new life and buzzing with excitement to think about his past, the life he had left behind. He cut off all communication with his father. He cut off all ties he had with his old life. He started anew. Eventually, his worries faded, and he was content and happy with his life.

 

Then he met Joel, a neurotic man nearly twice his age who was obsessed with gold and stocks. And he fell head-over-heels in love with him.

 

Little did he know, Joel felt the same way.

 

After a few months of dancing around each other, both being too nervous to approach the other, Joel eventually mustered up the courage to express his feelings for Ray (with a bit of “encouragement” from their nose co-workers). 

 

So they went on a date,which turned into 2 dates, which turned into 5 dates. By that point, they had declared themselves to be in a relationship, officially announcing it to the office. Ray,having grown up with possibly the most bigoted  _ dick _ in the universe for a father, had been extremely nervous. His worries subsided, though, when he realized that he worked in the most accepting place on the planet. Through the congratulations and joking innuendos that were thrown his way, his self-conscious feelings about his relationship were thrown out the window. 

 

Six months into the relationship, Joel asked Ray to move in with him, to which he readily agreed. And now, here they were, nearly a year and a half later, cuddling on their couch and watching a dumb romance together. And happy. They were both so happy.

 

Ray looked over at his boyfriend, who was sprawled across half the couch, snoring softly. He giggled quietly at the sight of his lover, mouth hanging open and eyes shut tight. He curled into the other end of the couch to give Joel more room, and eventually drifted off to the noise of the movie.

 

He was dragged back to consciousness a couple hours later when his phone obnoxiously vibrated in his pocket. Yawning, he sat up and took his phone out, wondering who the hell was texting him at 3 am. When he unlocked his phone and his vision became clear enough to read the message, he froze. His blood turned to ice as the message and its sender burned onto his retinas.

 

_ D-dad? _

 

Ray didn’t get any sleep that night.

 

____________________

 

By 6 am he had given up on sleep and decided to do something productive. He took a long shower, letting the almost scorching water pound his head clear of the haunting message he had been sent. When he got out and dried off 30 minutes later, however, it slowly crept back into his mind and took its place back onto his retinas.

 

Since Joel’s alarm would go off in 15 minutes, Ray decided to be a good boyfriend (and distract himself) by attempting to cook breakfast.

 

At 7 am, Joel followed his nose to the kitchen and walked in on a cursing Ray, who was cradling his hand.

“What’s all this?", Joel asked, leaning against the doorway and smiling lazily.

 

Ray jumped, cursing even more. After scraping his nerves off the ceiling, he turned around and smiled sheepishly at his boyfriend. "I ,uh...i made food.”

 

Joel laughed. “I can see that. But why? And what’s wrong with your hand?" he asked, concern lacing his voice as he noticed the pain in his boyfriend’s eyes. 

 

"Woke up a while ago and couldn’t get back to sleep," Ray said. It technically wasn’t a lie. "Got bored and thought it would be a great idea to try my hand at cooking. Not my thing apparently; i burned my hand and it hurts like a motherfucker.”

 

Joel sighed and walked to the medicine cabinet in their kitchen, smiling. ”It’s not that i don’t appreciate this-believe me, i do, its fucking awesome-but maybe you should leave the cooking to the experts," he joked, pulling the burn treatment kit out of the cabinet.

 

”Yeah, i’ll be sure to do that next time, Mr.  _ Expert _ ,” Ray replied sarcastically.

 

Once Ray’s hand had been treated and they were sat at the table with plates of food in front of them Joel noticed that something was wrong with his suddenly anxiety-ridden boyfriend. ”Ray, you alright?”

 

Ray snapped his head up and put on a weak smile. ”Y-yeah, ‘m fine,” he lied.

 

Joel gave him a look and Ray sighed.  _ Goddamnit,  _ he thought.  _ Guess he was going to find out one way or another,though _ .

 

He sighed. "I got a text from m-my...dad. He's coming into town today and expects a tour of the office,” he said shakily. 

 

Joel frowned. "Is that why you were awake so early?”

 

Ray looked down and guiltily nodded.

 

”Well, I mean, I'm sure Burnie’ll be ok with that. Why are you so worried?”

 

Ray took a breath, trying to think of how to word this. "He...isn’t the most... _ tolerant _ person. We kind of left off on bad terms. He didn’t exactly support me taking the job, and now,with you...” he trailed off, hoping Joel would get his point.

 

He did.

 

“Oh”,the older man breathed. He paused. ”Well,maybe he just wants to make up with you. Gotta think positive, babe.”

 

Ray scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I am literally the only thing on this entire planet that you have the capability of thinking positively about, hypocrite.”

 

Joel shrugged. “I’m not going to deny that. But don’t make me think positively  _ for  _ you, as well.”

 

Ray didn’t respond.

 

“Come on, Ray.” Joel’s voice was borderline pleading. “You never know, I could be right this time. Just, please? Please try to go into this open minded. You might be surprised.”

 

Ray didn’t believe it in the slightest. But hey, he could hope, right? 

 

He nodded. ”Y-yeah...maybe. Thanks,Joel.”

 

Joel smiled at him and kissed his cheek quickly before excusing himself to to get dressed. Ray sighed. 

 

Today was going to be a long day.

 

____________________

 

His father hadn’t specified when he was coming to the office,so Ray was noticeably on edge from the moment he stepped into the building. His co-workers saw, and they tried to ease his mind by distracting him with their ridiculous antics and jokes. It worked, but only temporarily; immediately after reality slapped him in the face again, he fell back into a state of constant anxiety. The whole office had been notified of Ray’s dad visiting, but the Achievement Hunters couldn’t understand why that would make him as nervous as he was-the poor guy was practically shivering. Still,they didn’t want to pry, and spent their time trying to cheer him up. Their attempts were futile, but the fact that they were even trying and cared so much made Ray feel a bit better.

 

Until a few hours into the day when Kara came in announced the arrival of his dad.

Ray froze. ”Thanks,Kara,” he said quietly. His head was spinning and he couldn’t move for a few moments.

 

_ Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck he’s here, he’s in this building  _ **_right now_ ** _ and i’m about to go see him, oh fuck. _

 

He took a deep breath and slowly stood up from his seat, carefully placing his controller on his desk. With shaky legs and sweaty palms, he followed Kara out the door as he tried to steady his racing pulse and remember how to breathe.

 

When they got to the front room, his father was inspecting a picture that was taken of the whole company a while back that Burnie had hung up. It was an overhead picture, taken with a camera strapped to a toy helicopter. Despite their makeshift, airborne tripod, the picture came out with surprising quality. Everyone was pulling stupid poses and faces, and,at a glance, one might have thought that they were all drunk (which, quite honestly, most of them were already halfway to being). Ray grimaced as he remembered his pose in that picture; his hands behind his head, looking up with his mouth in an oval shape,pretending to dry hump a slightly drunk Gavin who had bent over to pull Michael into a headlock.

 

He silently cursed himself as they approached his dad, who looked away from the picture and made eye contact with his son for the first time in years. Ray bit the inside of his cheek as any and all delusions he’d had about his dad wanting to make up with him melted away. He could practically  _ feel _ the disappointment and anger and disgust dripping from his father’s eyes, passing over his fake smile. 

 

”Hello, Ray," he greeted, quickly giving Ray a light hug. It wasn’t real, it was just for show and they both knew it. ”Well?” his father asked after a few moments of silence. "Aren't you going to show me where you work?”

 

Ray averted his gaze. ”Y-yeah,” he said quietly,turning around. ”Thanks again, Kara.”

 

His heart was pounding as he led his father to the Achievement Hunter door.  _ This isn’t going to end well _ .

 

He opened the door of the AH office with bated breath. Everyone stopped their work and turned to face them. Ray gulped. ”U-um, g-guys,this is my fa-dad. Dad,these are my co-workers. That’s Gavin, that’s Michael, he’s Ryan, that’s Jack, and that’s Geoff, my boss.”

 

They all smiled friendly smiles at him, but his father mostly ignored them in favor of walking around the room, inspecting it with clear contempt. His head snapped up at the word ‘boss', and he turned to look at Geoff, who smiled and stood up to shake his hand. Mr. Narvaez took in all of Geoff’s piercings and tattoos, and made a sound of disgust before turning and leaving the room. Everyone looked at Ray, confusion evident on their faces, but he just sighed and hung his head, turning around to follow his father.

 

The rest of the tour was basically the same way-show his father to a new room, introduce him to the people there, watch as he expressed his contempt with the place, leave. The only time it had been different was when Miles and Kerry tried to rile him up to hopefully get a reaction out of the man. It didn’t work and the animators seemed to visibly shrink at the look he gave them. Ray threw an apologetic look to his friends before walking out to follow his father again.

 

He actively avoided Joel’s office, hoping his dad wouldn’t notice. Luckily,he seemed too busy being absolutely repulsed by the building and its employees to really pay attention.  _ Phew. Crisis averted. _

 

After Ray had shown his dad around both of the buildings, he took him to the kitchen. Unsurprisingly, his father went straight for the booze.  _ Shit,Geoff’s gonna be  _ **_pissed_ ** , Ray thought, though he made no move to stop his father. He instead pretended to busy himself with rifling through a random stack of papers so that he wouldn’t have to look at his father.

 

Before the older man could start bashing Ray’s life choices, however, Lindsay walked in. She froze when she saw Mr. Narvaez, but relaxed when she saw Ray, walking over to sling an arm around his shoulder. ”Hey,Ray.This your dad?” Her voice was practically honey and her kind smile radiated warmth, but the older man instead focused on her hair color, wrinkling his nose.

 

”Y-yeah. Sorry, dad, i forgot to introduce you guys. Lindsay, this is my dad. This is Lindsay. She also works in Achievement Hunter.”

 

His dad cocked his head at them. ”This your girlfriend?”

 

Ray’s heart pounded. He briefly considered saying ‘yes’ and praying that Lindsay would go along with it, but she cut him off.

 

“Of course not,” Lindsay giggled. "Joel would kill me if i tried anything"

 

Ray froze.  _ Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. _

 

His dad’s eyes narrowed. "Who's Joel?" he asked politely, anger hidden underneath the fake calmness. Lindsay’s eyes widened as she realized what she had just done and she drew her arm back. 

 

”M-my boyfriend,” Ray admitted quietly.

 

After a few seconds of silence, Lindsay muttered something about having to edit a video, and Ray pulled her in for a goodbye hug.

 

”Sorry”, she whispered in his ear.

 

“Run,  _ now _ ,” he whispered back. 

 

They both pulled away from the hug smiling, but confusion danced in Lindsay’s eyes. The two men watched as she made her way out of the kitchen before Ray’s dad turned back to him. The look in his eyes was enough to make Ray jump out of his chair and start backing up instinctively.

 

“So... _ boyfriend _ ,huh?”

 

“L-look, dad-” 

 

Ray’s back slammed into the sink behind him. Before he even knew what was happening, his father appeared before him, grabbing his shirt collar and slamming him to the floor painfully. Ray groaned at the pain, but his father didn’t stop there. He straddled his son, effectively pinning him down, and grabbed a fistful of his hair. Ray winced as his other fist connected with his jaw. 

 

”Fucking...faggot....always...knew...you...were..a...little... _ bitch _ .” He punctuated each word with a fierce punch to his son’s face. His glasses had cracked and the glass was painfully digging into the bridge of his nose. He tasted blood.

 

“I...I LOVE him", Ray spat, gasping for air as a fist collided into his gut. 

 

His father growled. ”You fucking homo, couldn’t get a girl to like you so you turned to a man?  _ Pitiful."  _ He punctuated this with another swift punch to the gut, leaving Ray trying to remember how to breathe.

 

He didn’t know how long the beating lasted-it felt like hours. The homophobic and hateful slurs all seemed to blend together, and his vision was getting blurry. It _ hurt _ , it hurt  _ so bad _ , but he couldn’t do anything to stop him. He was powerless.

 

Suddenly, muffled yells reached his ears. A furious Burnie and Geoff entered his line of sight as they threw his dad off of him. His hearing and vision came back to him in a rush as he felt gentle hands lift his head into a lap. He looked up and almost cried with relief. ”J-joel...” he croaked, weakly smiling. 

 

He turned his head to see a fuming Burnie and Geoff dragging his screaming father away. He felt relief flood his body. It was over. He was hurt and bleeding and in so much pain but it was _ finally _ over.

”Ray...god, i’m so sorry.” Joel’s voice made Ray look up his lover again, seeing the regret and concern piling up on his face. ”I-i’m so fucking sorry, you fucking told me, you _ told me _ about your dad, and i didn’t fucking do anything, I didn’t do  _ anything _ , I just made it worse, i’m sorry....”

 

With difficulty, Ray sat up and turned to face his boyfriend. ”It’s okay, Joel. You didn’t know, it’s okay, I promise.” His voice was raspy and it hurt to talk but he didn’t care. He had to stop his partner from blaming himself. Ray had been blaming imself for years; he wasn’t about to let Joel do the same.

 

Then there was red hair in front of him, pulling him into a hug. ”Goddamnit Ray, why didn’t you say anything? I’m so sorry, this is all my fault, i’m  _ sorry _ ,” Lindsay sobbed. 

 

Ray lifted his arms to return the embrace. ”Lindsay. Lindsay, it’s ok. You didn’t know, i didn’t say anything and i should have, it’s ok. It’s not your fault and i’m not mad at you, ok? You guys  _ have _ to stop blaming yourselves. Please.”

 

Lindsay slowly pulled back and smiled with watery eyes. ”Y-yeah...alright, Ray.” She sniffled and laughed a little. ”God,you should have seen Michael. He was fucking  _ pissed _ . The way that he and Geoff and Burnie looked at your dad...well,i’m just surprised that he’s not dead right now.”

 

Ray recalled the looks in Burnie and Geoff’s eyes when they came to his rescue. He was certainly glad he wasn’t on the receiving end of their anger. In spite of everything, warmth flowed through his veins as he realized just how much his co-workers really cared for him.

 

He wasn’t alone. No matter what his father had tried to convince him of, he wasn’t alone. He was loved.

 

____________________

 

The cops eventually arrived, and hauled Narvaez Sr.’s ass right out of there. As it turns out, Burnie and Michael and Geoff didn’t actually kill him-although he was sporting some nasty cuts and bruises that were an act of ‘self-defense’. 

 

After a single trial, he was pronounced guilty and sentenced, and Ray got a restraining order on him.

 

He wouldn’t go to visit his dad in prison.

 

His injuries, while pretty bad, weren’t ER worthy, and he eventually made a full recovery.

 

After that, everyone (particularly Geoff and Joel) suddenly became really protective of him. But he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind how everyone suddenly had extra work to do when he had to stay late at the office. He didn’t mind how Joel would casually keep an arm slung around his shoulders when they were walking somewhere together. He  _ especially _ didn’t mind the late night cuddles when he got nightmares. He minded the nightmares, but the cuddles made it all okay.

 

Though he would never forget what his dad had done to him throughout his life, he would also never forget how his co-workers helped him and supported him. And,one night, laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, he realized something with a jolt:

 

For the first time in his entire life, Ray no longer feared his father.


End file.
